break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
