You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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