shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
