Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
being pregnant is like rehab
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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