16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
operation harelip BJ is a go
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
