I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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