Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
