I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
