Jerry, you need to find god
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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