The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
