ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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