Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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