I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
