just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize