remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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