Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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