I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
