She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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