I feel great
I just peed on a car
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
