at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize