if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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