You can't special order awesome
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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