im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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