Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
