1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
