wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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