the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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