Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
