I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize