She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
