was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
