never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
