I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
