the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
