Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
