i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize