At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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