Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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