Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
