i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize