So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
