i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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