Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
