i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
