How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize