I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I want to be your penis for a week.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
