You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
