My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
