Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
