theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
