I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
