Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
