There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
