She said her name was "party"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
