Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
