The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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