After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
